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Limericks

These are some particularly good limericks. If you know of any more, please e-mail them to me.

This is probably the world’s most recognized limerick.

There once was a man from Nantucket,
who stored all his cash in a bucket.
   His daughter, named Nan,
   ran away from the man
and as for the bucket Nantucket.

Limericks are traditionally risqué

There was a young lady of Wilts,
Who walked up to Scotland on stilts;
   When they said it is shocking
   To show so much stocking,
She answered, "Then what about kilts?"

This toungue twiser limerick is for computer nerds.

A Unix saleslady, Lenore,
likes work but she likes the beach more.
   She found a good way
   To combine work and play:
She sells C shells by the seashore.

This limericks plays on homophones.

There was a young fellow named Hall
Who fell in the spring in the fall.
   'Twould have been a sad thing
   Had he died in the spring,
But he didn't - he died in the fall.

These limericks use homophones as tongue twisters.

A flea and a fly in a flue
were imprisoned, so what could they do?
   Said the fly, "let us flee!"
   "Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

One day I went to the zoo
For I wanted to see the old gnu;
   But the old gnu was dead
   And the new gnu they said
Was too new a new gnu to view.

A tutor who taught on the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
   Said the two to the tutor,
   "Is it harder to toot, or
To tutor two tooters to toot?"

You must know the Greek alphabet for this one.

Ω π Γ ν β
Ι υ Σ Χ η
   ρ ε Φ
   It's all Greek to Me!
τ Δ ψ α ξ Θ

This limerick plays on the pronunciation of an abbreviation.

She frowned and called him Mr.
Because he fondly kr.
   And so for spite
   That very night
That Mr. kr. sr.

This is a limerick for science nerds.

There was a young woman named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
   She set out one day
   In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

Here are some others

Out dining, an old alligator,
When asked if he’d have coffee later,
   Just shook his head
   And pleasantly said,
"I was planning on having the waiter."

There was a young farmer from Leeds
Who swallowed six packets of seeds.
   It soon came to pass
   He was covered with grass,
And he couldn’t sit down for the weeds.

There was an old man of Peru
Who dreamt he was eating his shoe.
   He woke in the night
   In a terrible fright,
And found it was perfectly true.

A mouse in her room woke Miss Dowd;
She was frightened and screamed very loud,
   Then a happy thought hit her--
   To scare off the critter,
She sat up in bed and meowed.

If you are interested in learning to write limericks, Limerickologist Robert W. Birch, Ph.D. has created this helpful guide to writing limericks.

Ove Ofteness (aka O.V. Michaelsen), a prolific writer of limericks, has posted many on his own limerick web page.